


Home Before Christmas

by fleurwrites



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Train Stations, Winter, and joshua just misses him pls, but it's a happy ending i swear, jeonghan lost his memories, or at least i think it's light, this is long overdue and i just want it out of my drafts ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:54:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29162241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fleurwrites/pseuds/fleurwrites
Summary: It's the first snowfall, and Jeonghan and Joshua are in a train station on their way home.
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan
Kudos: 23





	Home Before Christmas

It’s the first snowfall, and we were in a train station on our way back home. 

“Look, Joshua! It’s snowing!” Jeonghan winsomely said, his doe-like orbs twinkling in delight as he lifted his palms up in the air to catch bits of snow falling from above. I could only breathe out a sigh as I stand in scrutiny of him beside me - smiling brightly, light-hearted giggles escaping from his lips. 

I pushed my hands deeper into my pockets, hunching my shoulders against my coat. The ache I have long confined within my chest bellowed once again, and as much as I tried to shrug it off, it grew heavier as days went by, and I could only close my eyes and hope for it to ebb away momentarily, enough for me to find sometime to myself to feel it all in, hoping no one, especially Jeonghan, to see me do so. 

“Do you want me to get you a cup of hot chocolate?” I offered, my hands forming balls of fist inside my coat pockets as I tried to contain myself and this stubborn ache swelling within my chest. I badly wanted to have a moment to myself for a while, because standing beside him any longer would just make it harder for me to contain myself. “I can get you a bagel too.”

His gaze turned to me, before smiling rather wryly. “It’s fine, just stay here with me until the train arrives.”

Jeonghan lost his memories two months ago to a car accident, and he hasn’t remembered me, anyone or anything since then. He would always look at me nonchalantly, and wouldn’t utter a single word unless absolutely necessary - like asking for something he really needed or wanted to know. It’s been two months of living under the same roof and yet, feeling as if we were strangers - as if we were a universe away from each other. 

Most nights, I would crouch beside him to hold his hand while he was asleep. I would just lay there beside him, perusing his seraphic face, tracing my fingers along its every detail. I could never get close to him that way when he was awake because he would always feel uneasy in my presence. And it scared the living daylights out of me - the thought of him not remembering anything at all, and just slipping away from my grasp without me being able to do anything. 

“I love you,” I mumbled, avoiding his gaze by staring at my boots.

Silence pervaded the air dreadfully, and it only hung heavier with the feeling of his eyes settled on me. I felt hot tears stream down my cheeks, and as much as I wanted to wipe them away, my entire body stood frozen. I could only bend my head even more and bite my lower lip to keep a sob from escaping my lips. 

After a seemingly long moment, Jeonghan finally spoke. “I always dream about this boy holding a guitar, and he would sing me a song.” 

His voice was muffled, and there was a certain wariness laced in its tone. It took him a few deep breaths before continuing. “I couldn’t see his face properly at first, and for some reason, it hurt me to sit there and listen to him.”

I closed my eyes shut, finally mustering enough strength to pull my hands out of my pockets to rub my face in agitation. I don’t know where his words were hurtling towards, but it somehow scared me. I felt the ache inside my chest bellow indignantly, and I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I felt like a glass bottle all crammed within and about to shatter into shards.

“I-I’m so sorry, Hannie . . .”

“What?” he asked, almost breathless. “Joshua, I don’t understand -”

“I’m sorry for leaving you that night, I shouldn’t have let my frustrations get the better of me. You shouldn’t have wandered off into the night on your own to find me, I’m so sorry, Hannie. Please forgive me . . .”

Jeonghan tried to reach for me, but I took a step away. “Joshua, I-”

I turned to face him, just as the train whistle echoed from the distance. He was looking at me with worry painted across his face, and it confused me for a moment. I watched as his expression softened as he reached for me again, pulling me into a hug. 

I stood frozen in his embrace, heart pounding against my chest. I couldn’t believe the moment I was in, this felt all too surreal - as if it was some sort of dream. 

Jeonghan nestled his cheeks against my trembling shoulders. “I knew that boy in my dream was you, Joshuji.”

My eyes widened in surprise at the mention of the nickname as I jerked away from his embrace. I think I’ve blinked a hundred times before my lips parted to say something, only for a mere sigh to find its way out in vapor. 

“What are you -”

“I love you, too.”

I could hear the train speeding towards us, and before I could even utter anything, Jeonghan reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers together, smiling somewhat proudly to himself.

“There,” he said, his grip on my hand tightening. “you don’t have to hold my hand in secret while you think I’m asleep anymore.”

A tiny gasp escaped from my lips as our gazes met, and I swear, for a split second it felt as if the Jeonghan who was standing in front of me right now is the same Jeonghan who had chased after me last snowfall - with a quiet hint of starlight in his eyes as he panted, telling me he loved me through unsteady breaths and the warmest smile I have ever seen. 

“You really remember?” I asked, hopeful.

He nodded, before gesturing for us to head inside the train that had just stopped in front of us. “Well, not much, but just a little - enough - to come back home to you before Christmas.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this very futile attempt at light (?) angst. However if you did end up liking it, you can leave a kudos! That would mean a lot! Oh, and you can also listen to the playlist I made for this on Spotify! Here's the link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0XXIJJMb8THkuCYdJenQmr?si=2Lkfk6WjThq6B0l_XFAezw


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